


her sweet boy

by egeria



Series: oh mother, how i love thee [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, disregards comics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25600918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egeria/pseuds/egeria
Summary: She can only see the right side of his face as she says his name, and she sees him pause. From behind her son, Iroh pauses as well, and looks over to the sound, his eyes widening.Zuko turns, and Ursa’s heart stops.—or: ursa hears about zuko’s banishment
Relationships: Ursa & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: oh mother, how i love thee [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908037
Comments: 29
Kudos: 517





	her sweet boy

**Author's Note:**

> hello. i have not read the comics, though i kinda know what happens. however, i don’t like it. so, i disregarded it.

She hears about it, of course. It should be more surprising that word reaches her ears, given the small, desecrate Earth Kingdom town she’s been living in for the last three years. But, she realizes as she cries over the laundry basin, her tears mixing with the murky water, Ozai must have wanted her to know. 

The woman who owns the tavern that Ursa has been working at since her banishment puts a hand on her shoulder. Ursa startles. She thought she’d been crying silently, hadn’t thought anyone would notice. 

And then she realized that she’s, in fact, sobbing. 

“My son,” she says. “Oh, my son.”

She collapses on the ground, the dirty sheet pressed to her face. Her body writhes, her soul is aching, the knife wound already present in it reawakening. She barely notices the arms that engulf her, the soothing cooing of the old tavern woman. 

“Where is he?” she asked, her voice gentle. 

Ursa shakes her head. “I-I don’t know. He might have sent him out like me. He might have- he might have sent him on a death mission.”

The tavern woman had figured out most of Ursa’s story within a year of her being here. Ursa had been expecting to be thrown out, or dragged through the streets, branded as a disgusting Fire Nation citizen, or worse, the disgraced ex-wife of the current, brutal Fire Lord. 

But there had only been love and understanding. The love of a mother who lost her children, to a woman who had experienced the same pain. And so her secret was kept. 

The tavern woman removes the sheet from Ursa’s hands, slowly prying it away and placing it on the ground. She wraps the same hands around Ursa’s face, looking into her golden eyes. Ursa stares back, desperate, needy. She needs guidance. She needs someone to tell her what to do. 

And, as always, the tavern woman doesn’t disappoint. “Find him.”

—

Ursa is loaded up with as much food and water as she can reasonably carry, and she begins her three day journey to the closest colony. It’s not a large one by any means, but it’s the best hope Ursa has for gathering intel, or at the very least, discovering what the terms of Zuko’s banishment are. 

From what she gathered, it had been about a month since her boy, her sweet, kind, loving  _ thirteen year old _ boy had been banished. A month on his own meant he could be anywhere by now. 

The trip is arduous. It’s hot, it’s dangerous, and it’s lonely. All Ursa has is her thoughts, and they get increasingly more distressed and paranoid as time goes on. 

Yet on she goes. 

On the last night, as she lies under a tree, just a few miles outside of the colony, her mind thinks of every worst possibility. Selfishly, Ursa feels that the worst possibility is the most likely. That she will find her son, and he will deny her. He will cast her out. He will hate her. 

And Ursa feels that she deserves it. 

—

To her benefit, it’s easy to blend into the Fire Nation colony. She could’ve easily worn her Earth Kingdom greens, but she’d brought some of her old reds with her. She looked more like a Fire National anyways. Also, luckily, Ursa had never really been in the public eye, so her chance of being recognized by anyone here was low. As long as she kept away from the governing family, who she remembered from dull dinner parties. 

Prior to being married to Ozai, Ursa had been an aspiring actress. Which meant she had learnt the art of studying others. And to do that, you have to know the best places for both people watching and eavesdropping. 

And that is, of course, a cafe with outdoor seating. 

So Ursa sits, drinking tea and eating a mango tart. To any outsider, she just looks like one of the many Fire Nationals who pass through here, needing a break from the journey. It’s not odd at all, and no one spares her a glance. 

She hears, after an hour, a soldier standing at the fountain about thirty feet in front of her, talking to a fellow comrade. They aren’t necessarily talking in hushed tones, but they’re talking quietly. 

Too bad Ursa has good hearing. 

“... apparently just left the Western Air Temple, heading to the Southern one now. Poor kid is on a wild goose turkey chase.”

“At least he has the general with him.”

Ursa releases a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Iroh. The general must be Iroh. He’d always held a soft spot for Zuko, and vice versa. As quickly as that relief takes hold, it leaves. Why in Agni’s name would Zuko be going to the Air Temples? They were just ruins at this point. No reason for anyone to go there, since the Air Nomads were killed. Though, she heard the Northern Air Temple had some new residents. 

She pays for her food, before heading out to look for a ship that will take her as far south as possible. That shop will hopefully have a map as well, as Ursa isn’t totally sure she knows where the Southern Air Temple  _ is _ . 

She had heard of it, though. Something with her formal lessons. Someone important was born there, but she couldn’t pin down here. 

After she’s secured passage on a ship, and is able to look at a map (they’ll be able to take her relatively close, but she’s starting to realize how precarious of a journey this is going to be), it hits her like a ton of bricks. 

The Avatar. 

She’s lost track of how many times she’s cried at this point. 

—

It’s just a few days' journey south. They’re able to take her as south as Kyoshi Island. From there, she’s able to plead her case to a kindly woman. They’re distrusting of her, which is fair. But she’d rode down on a boat of Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom nationals, so they at least know not everyone in her nation is evil. And sure, Ursa may have lied, pretended to be from the colonies, pretended to not have any connection to the wrongdoings going on in the city in the caldera. 

But could anyone blame a mother?

The boat makes the day's journey to take her to the island where the Southern Air Temple is. The woman, and her husband who’d accompanied them, give her some food, and provide her with a blessing. The Earth Kingdom isn’t particularly religious, but they ask Agni to bless her. It makes her heart warm and break at the same time. 

Her people wage a war on the entire world, accusing them of being animals. And yet, the Fire Nation themselves are the ones acting feral. Acting uncivilized. 

From what Ursa was told, the only way to reach the Air Temple safely is by air. But there was a way to go by foot. It had last been used by Fire Nation soldiers. 

She walks for days, preserving the food that she can. Luckily, there are streams here for Ursa to drink from. She wonders if she’ll miss Zuko, if she’s stranded herself on this island forever. Like many things, Ursa didn’t completely think this through. 

But it’s her son. 

Finally, she sees a Fire Nation ship. 

She runs. 

She runs and she runs and she runs to the shore. They might not even be on the ship. They could be on the journey up to the Air Temple. She has no idea, but  _ there’s the ship.  _

Her legs want to give up, but her son is right there, and so, as her mother taught her to do, as the Fire Nation requires of all of its nationals, she persists. 

After making it to the ship, her breath now coming in raggedly, she realizes that the ramp is down. The engines aren’t running or warming up. There’s probably just a few people on board. It’s an older ship, small, but there has to be some sort of crew. 

Zuko isn’t on this ship right now. No matter. 

She’ll wait. 

Ursa finds a spot to rest, hidden from the view of anyone on the ship, and sits. 

The sun sets, the moon rises, and Ursa allows herself to sleep, though it’s fitful at best. 

When the sun once again blessed the earth, she was fully awakened. In the distance, the sound of a small militia can be heard. On shaky knees, she stands. 

It can only be thirty minutes at most (she’d forgotten how loud the rhinos can be, and how you can hear them from such a distance) before she sees him. 

Zuko. 

“Zuko.”

She can only see the right side of his face as she says his name, and she sees him pause. From behind her son, Iroh pauses as well, and looks over to the sound, his eyes widening. 

Zuko turns, and Ursa’s heart stops. 

They’re about fifty feet apart, but she can see the burn as clear as day. She’s the mom here, though. She has to be strong. She has to be strong. She has to be-

Someone collides with her, and Ursa realizes Zuko had run to her, and was currently holding onto her as tight as a koala squirrel. Faintly, she could hear him chanting  _ mom, mom, mom _ . 

He’s still so small, still smaller than her. The burn is new, as she can see from the part that bleeds over to his ears and his head. She holds him close to her chest, leans her face to his. 

“Oh, my son.”

He’s shaking, his breath is hitching. “Wh-where have you… why did you… how…?”

She shushes him, like the tavern woman did to her all of those days before. “Oh Zuko, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that I had to leave you.” She holds him back a bit, forcing herself to look him in the eye. “But I promise you, Zuko. I will never leave you again.”

Ursa knows she should talk with Iroh, and that she needs to get actual, concrete information. Maybe, she’ll kill Ozai like she did Azulon. Her daughter is still there, all alone now with the man’s vile presence her only company. 

But now, as she looks at her son’s face, at her  _ baby boy’s _ face, she decides to put that on hold. If only for a few minutes. 

Ursa pulls him back to her, and he follows. Her sweet, sweet boy. 

**Author's Note:**

> i was writing a fluff piece and was like ehhhhhh how about some angst. 
> 
> lemme know what y’all think!!


End file.
